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My Story

We’ve all been there.

But who to choose?

I thought of the monosyllabic wrestler in eleventh grade who on our one date got drunk, barfed, then successfully coerced me into making out with him. The manic-depressive white rapper. The drummer with unprecedented B.O.. The male model who said “supposably” and didn’t know who Aretha Franklin was. And the guy I chased around in college, then ran into a few years later wandering down Santa Monica Boulevard in full, fascinatingly ruined-looking drag.

But then, joyfully breaking free from the pack, came Ron…

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Image by Gaetan Lee via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Featured Story

This is the story of all of them. All inexplicable.

Henry McWilliams, fourth grade. Indianapolis. The only other kid in my class who voted for Mondale in our fake election. Doesn’t notice me, doesn’t know.

Fifth grade, Brian Bond. He runs away from school one day, taking off like a spooked animal, sprinting across the rolling expanse of grass between the school and the neighborhood behind it. We all gather at the window to watch him go. I love him instantly. This is the beginning of a lifelong trend. We go together for a few weeks. He breaks up with me in a note…

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Image by lou murphy via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

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Fling Him Back

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My First Crush

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My first crush; my art teacher when I was 7. I thought she was the most beautiful being on earth. I remember trying everything to impress her. When she complemented another girl for her drawing, I tried to do an exact copy of that drawing.. and I didn´t understand why I didn’t get the same [...]

My First Crush

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My Most Inexplicable Crush

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Cross-Cultural Crush

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Inexplicably NYAPPY! Always a fascination of mine was one country in particular, Japan. An on-going obsession which, well, started over a video game as a fourteen year old and progressed into a cultural experience, the language, the food, the literature, fashion, art, history and above all things music. Maybe it was obvious being that music [...]

My First (and only) Crush

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Mysteries and Angels

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Always count your crushes on the fingers of several hands. I learnt this early. Delving right back into my childhood there was Peter, hell, I think I was 8 years old. As I look back he was a kind of quiet, sensitive guy, the kind I’ve always attracted perhaps to my dismay. It was in [...]

Six Days of Sammy Hamlin

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My most inexplicable fling or crush? After careful consideration, as I have had a variety of crushes, inexplicable to say the least, there is one name that keeps coming back to me: Sam Hamlin. It was last year, my freshman year in high school, when I first fell for Sam. He was the cool, weird [...]

Sylvia Plath vs. Oatmeal

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I was sixteen the summer I started eating oatmeal and reading Sylvia Plath. Both seemed to be remarkable ideas at the time, but only Plath prevailed. Oatmeal and I had paths that crossed but never for very long. But my love affair with Plath was far deeper than my fleeting interest in oatmeal. I wanted [...]

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It was a Saturday afternoon when my friend decides to wake me up from my delightful nap to ask me if I’d like to go on a sort-of double date with her and two boys that night. Of course I jumped all over the invitation. I was so excited because this was my first kind-of [...]

First job, worst crush

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15 years old. Check. First part-time job. Check. First hardcore crush. Check. Regretting it 9 years later. Check. When I turned 15, the most thrilling thing for me, idiotically, was getting my first job. It was my first step to getting away from my mother, which we all know is a must at that age. [...]

He Stole My Heart

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In the sixth grade you could say I was a bit of a rebel. I cursed, I was horribly mean to my babysitter, and I stole. What was the valuable object of choice in my stealing? Pens. I loved pens and so did William. William and I sat next to each other and would compare [...]

Camp Crush

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i was 21 and working as a summer camp counselor. i was able to choose my co-counselor from two guys; both of them were very attractive, but when I looked at him – the blue eyed fraternity boy two years my junior – i felt this instant connection, and i instantly made my choice. it [...]

Sexy Ugly

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My first, never ending crush hit me when I was about 14 and completely obsessed with ballet. I fell head over heels for a male dancer – never a smart idea. Good thing it was only onscreen. I had found him: Mikhail Baryshnikov in The Turning Point. For those less obsessed with ballet than I, [...]

My Sweater, Cathy

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I have crushes on the most unexpected people. I hardly ever care about genre, age or social standing. But this is not inexplicable, none of them have been. Weirder, in my humble opinion, is what happens when I have crushes on things. I’ve never gone so far as actually having a fling with anything but [...]

Hot Purple

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So many crushes… all the time… so, I’m relegated to the one at hand. A Hollywood party in the hills, but the Silverlake Hills version: scruffy backyard brunch, homemade waffles and quesadillas, mimosas and lots of second-hand funkywear. Everyone was quite lovely and sociable. The host was a B-Horror movie director. And over to a [...]

The Jazz Man

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Everybody at school called him “the Jazz Man.” It was a fitting name, considering he was somewhat of a musical prodigy. He picked up a saxophone at 13 years of age, and by the time he was 15 he had put out 2 cds, was playing gigs almost every night around the state, and had [...]

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so the morning eventually came, and all I could think was ‘there are better places to wake up.’ There was drool on my hair and on my pillow that definitely wasn’t mine. There was an arm draped across my chest which normally would have been fine, but I was pretty sure that this particular arm [...]

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O.K., this is going to sound strange, but I have always had a crush on Dolly Parton. Not a crush of the romantic kind, more a crush because of the admiration I have for her and because so many things about her (no pun intended) are larger than life. I remember being 12 years old [...]

My Most Regrettable Fling

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Watergate Paramour

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I had my first sexual fantasy when I was a freshman in high school. Oh, I’d had crushes before. I lusted after Julie Newmar’s Catwoman on “Batman,” I fantasized about my seventh grade teacher, Mrs. Pink, who wore white lipstick and taught us Bob Dylan songs, and I was so besotted with my Spin the [...]

Most Inexplicable Crush

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I had seen him before. Occasionally, on a Sunday when I didn’t have to go to church I caught him and his friends on TV. Early, before the heathen Sunday morning cartoons came on the USA network. I watched those too, though. But, to see him was a rare, exciting treat. Then, around 1985 or [...]

Man in the Van

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For as long as I’ve known what stirrings were, I’ve sensed that my own rather went against the mainstream…

Crushes

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My crushes over the years have been pretty typical. They all make sense to me on some level, going back to my earliest pre-pubescent ones…