My crushes over the years have been pretty typical. They all make sense to me on some level, going back to my earliest pre-pubescent ones, like Haley Mills or that amphetamine-fueled go go dancer from Hullabaloo.
But there’s nothing like your very first crush, and I can still remember mine with amazing clarity. I was about 3 or 4 years old, an age when you could still crawl around the floor and create your own world that adults couldn’t enter. I was underneath a dining room table where my mother and a group of her friends were all sitting around, talking. And that’s where I discovered my first crush.
She was wearing a knee length skirt that revealed the most exquisite pair of legs I had ever seen. Remember, I was only 3 or 4. I hadn’t been around much. At the end of those legs, without socks, was a pair of navy blue Keds sneakers. You know the kind. I was absolutely enthralled with the view, from the Keds up to the darkness that the legs disappeared into. I wasn’t fascinated because I thought I was doing something “naughty”. That never entered my mind. This was true love, and I was in total bliss just looking at those legs.
It was all so mysterious and thrilling, like nothing I’d ever seen or experienced before. We all know the inexplicable feeling we get when we’re attracted to someone, and I had it bad for the first time that night. I suspect at some point I must have reached out and touched her, maybe just the feet, because I do remember being coaxed out from under the table and everyone was laughing and commenting about her and me. And I’m positive I did that thing that I’ve observed little kids do countless times: I just stood there and unashamedly stared at her. She was blonde and her face was as beautiful as her legs. I have no idea how old she was. Somewhere between 15 and 25, I guess.
The rest is a complete blur, most likely ending with me being put to bed. Alone. But the overall memory is as vivid as anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve always wondered why this particular event has stuck with me for so long. Strange, but why question it, right? And for the record, as an adult I don’t have a foot fetish and wearing diapers does not get me off sexually. But hey, if you own a pair of blue Keds, let’s talk.
