I have always known I was gay……..ever since I was around 12 years old, so when I went to the Village at the age of 17, I didn’t think any thing about it. Where else would I go to meet ms right, and living in Brooklyn and having the Village easily accessible, was certainly a bonus!
I met her in one of those typical lesbian bars of the 50’s - a beer bar, dark and inviting, mysterious, and intriguing to me to say the least. The lights were always low, the music sexy and moody, and all I could think of was meeting someone, someone I could love and who could love me back. Her name was Lucky, and I thought that enigmatic, as I felt like the “lucky” one.
She felt the same way about me as I did her, and soon I knew passion, lust, love and longing, all in one breath. Whenever I saw her coming down the street, I went “gaga” and was so in love, and hungry for her kisses, I used to feel like I had to go to the bathroom. That has only happened once in my life - and that was with Lucky. We spent days at a time in bed, “doing it” and I knew I was in love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. She was so sweet and gentle and thoughtful and caring….. So this was “real love”.
Only one problem………I was still in high school, living at home, and she had decided she was going to join the Navy. And oh yes, Lucky only wore “drag”, complete drag down to her men’s boxer shorts. Lucky was only 5′ tall, and drag or not, could have never passed for a man, or even a boy for that matter. Every time I traveled the subway with her I cringed, and died of fear that my cousin Mildred would spot us and the jig would be up. Cousin Mildred, who went to the Baptist Church of the Redeemer, on Cortelyou Rd. and sang the solos every Sunday morning. Religious and devout Cousin Mildred whom I idolized and feared would expose me as a LESBIAN to my family, if she ever saw me with Lucky. Oh my God! It wasn’t cousin Mildred after all…………it was a dumb love letter that Lucky wrote me and that my mother intercepted after Lucky joined the Navy. Oh god, that was something else. She cried, I lied, and I had to sever all ties to the first love of my life. And so it was that I never saw Lucky again, not once, not ever……but she taught me how to love and how to be free and giving in my love making and how to be a true partner and I will never ever forget her for that. Yes, Lucky, the first true love of my life.
Oh, I have had other loves since then, many to be sure, but there has never been one that I will remember in the way the I remember her. I wonder if she ever thinks of me?
