Inexplicable flings- So far my life has been made up of these. I haven’t had many but its all I’ve known. See, the thing is, I’m the inexplicable one. I’ve let numerous numbers of what appear to be good guys walk out of my life. But the ones that are not worthy of anyone’s time, those are the ones I choose to hang out with, party with, make out with, you get the point. I’m scared of commitment.
I’m scared of being hurt.
I’m terrified of love.
Those 3 fears have built walls around my heart, leading to my inexplicable flings. My reasoning for those, well a simple line I tell myself when I’ve regretted the night before, a girl’s got needs! Telling myself that keeps me from kicking my own ass in the morning. But I know in this situation, it was simply last nights attraction and nothing to commit to. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I’ve had sex with a total of 2 guys, the guys at the party that are random flings and I have zero feelings for, but like I said, a girl has needs. I’d like to consider myself anything but a whore but why is it that I so freely hook up with these guys, but when a good guy actually calls me and is interested in anything more than being friends, I scare away? I tell myself I don’t like them and find everything wrong with them I can. Once I find those bad qualities, I tell my friends, my friends laugh and agree that I shouldn’t like the guy, and then that settles it. They are out of my life. One day I hope to settle whatever is going on with me, and let someone in, love someone whoever it may be, and end these inexplicable flings.
