About 6 years ago i realized i fell in love with my best friend.
And it would not be such a big deal if my friend was a guy…but my friend was a girl!!
It totally confused me…i mean how could i fall in love with a girl??Im suposed to be falling in love with a guy en get married and start a family.
Well from that moment on it was hell on earth for me.Not only i realized i was a lesbian and had to struggle with my sexuality…i also was in love with my best en dearest friend.
We spent every day togheter so it was very difficult for me.
Should i tell her or not. That was the question that sat in my head every day.
But i could’t ..i was too scared…scared of losing my friendship. cause that was more importent to me then my my feelings towards her.
I never said a word about my feelings and about me being a lesbian.
I did not say it to anyone…not my mother not my brother not to my other friends.
I just kept inside me..trying to forget about it hoping that it may go away.
But ofcourse i did’nt. Everything just got worse…whenever we would go out and party…guys would come up to us …you know. I would just blew em off or when i had a little too much to drink i would kiss a guy. Just to not blow my cover.
But everytime i saw her with a guy it felt like my heart was ripped out…the hurt was too much and i got jealous. Why him and not me.
well to faster up this story…it went on like that for 3 years orso.
Then came the moment that changed it all….no she didnt came out and told me she was in love with me and we lived happily ever after.
No…she got in a relationship with my brother!!
Well after a lot of tears en hurt later…i had to tell everybody i was a lesbian en was in love with her.I did not wanted to lose my brother or my friendship with her over this.
So i came out and told everybody what was going on.
And it all fell into place…i could finally be myself and enjoy life…
My fear of coming out was unesesery and the crush i had slowly went away…it still was difficult but i was able to talk about it.
There is more to tell but that would take too long….man i could write a book about it haha.
How are things now?…well she and my brother are now togheter for 3 years…they bougt a house and are doing great.
and as for me…well i am over that crush and just enjoying my life. We are still friends and after a long and hard and rocky road, we now laugh and joke about it.
